Two Zero One Seven

by - 10:08 PM

It was definitely a year alright. 

I can still remember how January felt like. The first day was a very proud moment  because then, it was my first year of being smoke-free. Good job on that, self. Then I had thoughts of quitting dancing just because I felt like I haven’t given it much purpose and commitment. Although I have been dancing here and there and making myself believe that I was 100% committed, I figured, I was not. IT felt unfair and that sucked balls. So, I ended up thinking, WHY.NOT.QUIT.

I did. 

For a moment.

And then, I did not.

By the end of January, I finally joined The Stylettos. I have wanted to join this group for so long but intimidation, shyness, nervousness and I guess my age always stopped me. This time, I took the leap because for one, I have nothing to lose. So I attended #StylettosMondays consistently and little by little, I was back on track. After a few weeks, I was already training with the girls for the World of Dance competition. Me? Competing? I was pretty much mind-blown. Late-night trainings, 2-3 hours of sleeping, and no resting were back. It was also then that I really appreciated my day job – a preschool teacher. I was on autopilot (Doing lesson plans, errands for the condo and pretty much the adulting stuff, my dogs, cleaning, everything) but I was not complaining. I basically learned how important time management was. I was teaching 4-5 years olds by day and dancing from the afternoon up until dawn and squeezing everything I had to do in between. It was a beautiful struggle and I really did not mind. Competition day came and it was so nostalgic that it felt like yesterday when I was still consistently competing back in college. The feeling was surreal. The teams were all so inspiring and I realized how much the dance industry and the competition scene have evolved. It was worth the experience.

Then, chicken pox hit my very weak body – for almost a month.

It was like God told me to rest that He gave me month to recover and He gave me chicken pox to really keep me from going out. When my chicken pox hit me, it was the final week of school - I had 2 dance choreographies I had to attend to, my last PTC with my parents and students, the Moving Up of my students to big school and a dance gig with The Stylettos. I was cursing my chicken pox so bad because I was missing out on a lot. But after 2 weeks in, I realized how badly I was also taking care of my body. I was abusing it beyond its limits that it took its toll on me. I really needed that rest. It was also then that I realized, I am never bored alone. I live in a studio unit condo and it was the only place I saw for almost a month. All I ever ate was yogurt and I really lost a lot of weight. My chicken pox looked fatal and it was really, really painful. Thank God for Jack. He was the only person I saw and who had the courage to really stay beside me at night. The day finally came when I had to drive myself to the hospital to get my clearance. Fortunately, the doctor said I could go out already.

I literally cried on the way home. If that’s how it felt like coming out of prison, then it was such an overwhelming feeling. I was so overjoyed.

Summer time came.

Wait, what summer?

It definitely wasn’t summer or not the old idea of it. It was a working summer. I taught Dance and Art in school for the kids and I was also choreographing for a summer workshop in Dance Avenue Studio and I was training for the ACTS Summer workshop recital with The Stylettos. I was really back on my regular programming. I was working, dancing and everything in between. I was not resting but I did not mind (again). This time, I did not get sick. Thank God.

My birthday month came and it was an amazing one. My first ever performance with The Stylettos happened and probably my biggest party ever. I turned 30. 30 years and it was the first time I felt so happy during my birthday. There were a lot of people and they really made me feel that I own my spotlight that night. I was thankful and blessed that the friends who were there treated me like their own family.

It was still June and I had a new batch of students in school and at the beginning of the year; I was still attached to my first batch that I had visited them in Kinder just to say hi. I had to let go of them and seeing them now, I am feeling much more proud that I got to call them my students in K2. The new sets of teachers in school were becoming family. There were issues, dramas and negativity but there were more laughter and good memories and I think that makes it “family.”

That’s what I love about meeting new people. You get to see how different you are but still find a way to meet at one point and figure out what you have in common. 
It was definitely a year filled with so much love, passion, discovery, issues, tears, happiness, care and most especially, growth. I have grown to love life more and more despite its challenges. I had the courage to step up and face everything that’s come my way and I believe that I also ended the year much stronger and braver.

Welcoming 2018 with my 100% purpose, drive, commitment and love.

How was your 2017? 


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